My Dear Pal Whitey,
Your old caped friend is in a great mood this weekend. You know I’ve been under the gun here for the past few weeks with this little feline floozy at my heels.
This family of hers is getting older and eating more. They’re also approaching that “dangerous” age where they can get themselves out there on the streets and follow in their mother’s footsteps. Did you know these little things can have little things of their own starting at about three months? We have to get the word out to spay and neuter!
Sorry, I got off topic but I am all over getting that word out after this.
Anyway……I’ve had a lot of help but we have unraveled this mystery and I’m off the hook! Attorney Catticus Finch flew in from New York to help with the case.
His team included F. Flea Bailey and Alan Barkowitz. We had the Maury Povich Show all lined up to expose that floozy, Olivia Hussy Mewinsky But to our credit, just before air time, she confessed.
This is Olivia Hussy Mewinsky. She is unspayed and running the streets. She heard about Mighty Lou’s fame and wanted to jump on board his cape and cash in. She’s done this type of thing before but thanks to my team’s heroic efforts, she’s been exposed.
Her punishment: Spaying! Yep, she got it. Now she can get herself turned around, get off the streets and hopefully adopted into a good home. I hope she turns up on Cat Depot’s doorstep because she has the best shot of turning her life around there.
So who’s the baby daddy? It took a while to find him. He went into hiding.
This is the Catsanova who did it! Yes, he looks like me but look closer. I do not have those black spots on my nose. That is how they identified him in the lineup.
He had a list of aliases……….
Donny Juan, William Prowl, Al E. Katt
He’s been known on the streets for years as a real lady’s man. He even had a couple lined up for this weekend before they took him off the streets and put him in the slammer.
Turns out his real name is Newt R. Mee.
If you say that real fast it sounds like Neuter Me. See, he knew the right thing to do but no humans would do it. Pleeaaasseee humans! Neuter us! We put up a fuss but we really want you to do the right thing.
So my friend, the case is closed and I can hold my head up high again. Whew!
Oh, and special thanks to my Purrsonal Advisor, EH, who lead us to most of the clues!
See you next week!